Locked In
by Coletterby
Summary: a lot of people get locked in a small room due to John forgetting he's a mutant! just imagine randomness and insanity! please don't even try to look for a story line!
1. Slaps all round

Summery: John collapses during a fight with magneto after melting the locks on all the doors and effectively sealing of all the exits. When he wakes up he can't remember about his powers.

"John, wake up!"

"Are you sure he's still alive, Bobby?"

"Of course he's alive, did you think that movement in his chest was from his corpse?"

"Well it could have been,"

"John, if you can hear me, I need you to melt the locks. Can you hear me? "

John blinked open his eyes to see a blurry image of Bobby squatting on the floor beside him.

"Heya Bobby, how's fings," John said, his voice told Bobby that he was still more than half asleep.

"John we need you to melt the locks." Bobby said.

"What?" John replied, still lying flat on his back.

"You neeed ttooo meeellllllttt ttthhhheee llllooocckkss!" Bobby said, loudly and slowly.

"Don't have any socks, Bobby,"

"Locks, we need you to melt the locks," Bobby was getting exasperated.

""Box?"

"LOCKS!!"

John sat up completely and looked a good deal more awake.

"Bobby, what the hell did I drink last night, I've got the worst hangover of my life!"

Bobby started visibly twitching and then started slapping John, over and over again.

"Hey…. Stop…. That…. Owww …. I'll…. Get … you…. For…. This…" John shouted between slaps.

"Get a hold on yourself Bobby, we may be nuts but we can't just randomly go around killing John." Rogue shouted over noting that Bobby was about to kill his near unconscious best friend.

"But it would be fun," Bobby whined.

"NO!"

"Fine be grumpy," Then turned back to slap John again.

Rogue tapped Bobby on the shoulder. "Bobby unless you want injured move over NOW!" as Rogue's eye started to twitch Bobby got the idea and moved away.

Rogue knelt down beside John.

"John, this isn't a hangover. We need to get out of this room but you have 'locked' the doors. Do you think you could melt the locks for us?"

"Where the hell am I?"

"At the airport but we'll talk about that later all we need now is for you to open the doors."

"And how would I do that?"

"With you're lighter."

"Why would I have a lighter, I don't smoke?"

"Ehh Bobby I think we have a problem, "

I just decided to stick this up in the cuz I thought it was random. Also my _petit batard_ of an older brother deleted my file on the computer so I'm on his laptop and can't access my other story. If I get any reviews for this maybe I'll write some more for it. Who knows? Note I would have made this longer but I wanted to see if anyone would read it first. Thanx! Coletterby xx


	2. Queen of the World

Hey sorry it took so long to update this but ah well I kinda forgot about it forgive me?

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Bobby hurried over to Rogue, "Ok, I'm confused. How does he know who we are, know who he is but doesn't know what he is?"

Rogue looked over he shoulder at him, "Maybe he's just pretending?" Bobby just looked at her. "Fine, Selective memory loss?" he gave her another look. "you know it would be a lot easier if you would suggest something instead of doing that freaky thing that makes you look demented with your eyes!"

Bobby tries to look at his eyes to see the scary demented thing.

"Oh never mind."

She said turning back to the semi-conscience John just in time to see Bobby squat down at the other side of him and say "I wonder what would happen if I poked him?"

Three hours had gone passed and Rogue was beginning to imagine things. She looked up at the door handle. "Oh hello Professor, I was just wondering if you could help us out?" the door handle glittered in the light. "You will? That's wonderful!" the door handle glittered again. "What do you mean you need to wax your head first? If I had known all this time that that's what you did in an emergency I would never have taken this job as Queen of the World!" she stopped talking for a moment and looked about her. "I'm Queen of the World? I feel so privileged, can I just take a minute," she said into the potted plant beside her," to thank all of those who have helped me succeed this far. My parents who tossed me out of the house, Professor X who refuses to help, and my great friends Bobby the scary eye man, and John the I-got-hit-over-the-head-and-since-can't-remember-that-I'm-a-mutant … oh shit, JOHN!" Rogue sat up quickly and scared the life out of the potted plant, which jumped.

Rogue surveyed the carnage about her. She had read a book about a bunch of boys stuck on a island once who split into two gangs and became very primitive in a matter of days. If you took that and added people who could blow stuff up you would probably find yourself faced with a situation like this. Only in this place there was a very limited amount of room and as such the war that was raging seemed a lot worse than the six or so people on a side that it actually was. I'm only saying this because I want to defend Rogue's actions at this point. You see it really wasn't her fault what happened next.

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Lol I'm going to leave it there. You'll have to find out what Rogue did when I update in oh about another year.. or there abouts. Apologies for the randomness but I was high on caffeine at the time. Anyway thanks to silverbells, taana, Dark Angel4523 and preciousbabyblue! You guys actually inspired me to continue writing this story rather than just goin meh who but me is actually gonna read this!

Thanx again please review cuz the buttons right there and it really isn't that much trouble to just click it

Go on

Click it

You know u want to


	3. randomness and fluffy bunnies

You people know this is the first time I've ever updated this quickly right? I don't think I've ever had that many reviews before so I thought what the hell why not. Then I realised I had an A level in the morning and thought well that clinches it. I have so much adrenaline that it sounds like fun!

Apologies if there's no spaces. Blame it on exams

Oh yeah, I don't own lord of the flies so don't sue me. I have nothing left apart from this shiny button.

So Rogue really couldn't be blamed for what happened next.

BANG

THUMP

Someone moans in horror.

"Check," said Rogue

"Mirrirririr," came the incomprehensible reply. John made as if to move his king out of the way but accidentally knocked all the pieces apart from it off the board. He giggled to himself. "I win," he mumbled before being head butted by a very angry Rogue.

She surveyed the carnage around her. The earlier Lord of the Flies rampage had diminished somewhat though she could swear she could hear drumbeats and could see a campfire burning in the distance. Apart from her and John there were only three other people in the close proximity. Bobby and Kitty who were making out in the corner, 'clearly the illusions have gotten to him and he thinks she's me', and the little boy with the lizard tongue who was standing on top of a chair screaming, "I'm gonna jump, I swear I'll do it!" Rogue walked over to him, slapped him upside the head knocking him off the chair and causing him to break his neck. She looked down and saw John huddled at her feet. "I think you broke him," he said. "Do you think he has those socks Bobby was looking for earlier?"

It rang a bell in her head, sox, bobby, john, magneto, cheese, fluffy bunnies. No stop, go back, MAGNETO! He did something. Something bad. To do with fluffy bunnies. MAGNETO KILLED THE FLUFFY BUNNIES!

No wait, that's not it.

Or is it …

"Free the fluffy bunnies!"

"Make love not Fluffy Bunny war!"

"I cheat on Rogue and have no penis!"

All around Rogue people waved placards. She especially enjoyed the look on Kitty's face when she read Bobby's. Rogue held up her megaphone/ plant and shouted into it, "What do we want?"

"Fluffy Bunny Freedom!" came the crowds overwhelming answer apart from one very confused person who shouted, "Male reproductive organs!"

"When do we want it?" she shouted back.

"NOW!"

ok I know that was incredibly random but anyway I told u at the start I was adrenaline high! So thankyou to every1 who reviewed. Because of you this chapter was written, (I'm willing to bet you wish you hadn't reviewed now!).

I'm open to suggestions on what to do with them next so if you have any ideas feel free to either review them or email me!

Love you lots like hold fish soup

Coletterby xox


	4. Professor X to the rescue!

Yeah yeah I know I ahven't updated this sotry in forever and a day or two but I was reading it and felt in a weird mood and decided I wanted to be random again.

Back at the mansion

_All Xmen please report to my office_… Professor X said telepathically to his merry men (and women). When no one responded he looked around taking his surroundings in carefully through a cloud of drug induced haze. 'Hmmmm, they should be here by now. Oh wait I sent them on that mission.' He suddenly had a feeling that something very bad had just happened. 'Maybe its just this weed, I knew I shouldn't have confiscated it! No, somethings really wrong. With my Xmen. I must ride to their aid … but I need to wax my head first.'

Back at the nut house

"What do we want?" whispered a very tired Rogue who was sounding exceedingly confused about it. No one had been answering her for the past hour or two apart from Bobby who was still intent on getting some male reproductive organs and had pledged to go to war with Magneto to get them. His random shouting in his high pitched voice was beginning to piss her off too.

'wait a second' she thought to herself. 'I have the very thing for him …'

"Bobby?" she called. "I know how you can get some male reproductive organs." He looked up at her, upset that she hadn't told him earlier. "if you would come right this way …" she crooked her fingure at him and led him behind the potted plant (that once again jumped back in terror). "Alright, GET HIM!" she screamed. Three hundred jamies parachuted from the ceiling and started jumping on the body of the lizard tongue boy.

"Not him you idiots, Bobby!" they looked at her blankly. "the guy standing right beside you? The living one? The one with no reproductive organs?" They all suddenly knew who she meant and ran after him waving pitchforks that had also fallen from the sky.

"Phew, now what." She said out loud to the potted plant that this time jumped so hard it escaped the confines of its pot and went hopping across the floor leaving a trail of roots and muck behind it. "Oh well, at least now that poor cow can make it back to its barn to dance the tango with the chickens or whatever they're calling it these days."

She continued to muse happily unaware of the danger that followed her.

Well I think that's exceedingly random, even for me. I will hopefully update soon. And for those of you who read sunrise I will eventually upload the chapter of it I have it somewher but I'm not sure where.


	5. The hokey Kokey

Hello everyone out there

I know I should e updating sunrise but that stories just not as fun to write as this one. Also apologies for updating this after a break of about three months but I couldn't find the time or the energy or the space (well actually I kept looking at it and thinking I need to write something random … I can't do that without crisps … oh look I could hike to town and get some … three hours later oh yeah I was supposed to … snore)

Anyways

Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z

Rogue was unaware of the danger that followed her as she trooped through the vines that had grown up over two seconds. The fire alarm that had been blaring in the distance since John set fire to everything finally stopped and the silence was very unnerving.

Rogue took a step forward and heard someone do the same behind her. She stepped back again and heard the thing copy her again. She put it forward and backwards and again heard something copy it. Then the thing behind her started singing

"you put your left leg in

Your left leg out

In

Out

And shake it all about"

Rogue joined in doing the same motions as in the song.

"you do the hokey pokey and you turn around and … AHHHHHHH!"

The plant was dancing behind her with six thousand of its potted relatives, Bobby and the remaining Jamies with pitch forks!

_This is madness _she thought to herself as she began running away still hearing the distant chants in the background until she stumbled across something large and lumpy and in the middle of the road … er trail and fell down a giant hole to land on top of a John curled in the fetal position.

"John?"

?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z

Professor X removed his head from the TD departments wax machine looking picture perfect. He had had a mirror installed over the waxer in the last six months whenever Hank had discovered that waxing his fur did wonders for its condition.

"Don't you just love the way my head glimmers in the sun," he said, unknowing that it was 4 O'clock in the morning and the lights were all turned off. "Now that my head is in perfect condition I must hurry to rescue my Xmen. They must be very upset about having to chair the "Male Reproductive Organ Donors Committee", I wonder if Eric will be there after all he hasn't had reproductive organs for years! And I should know! Maybe we can share a lift …"

?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z

Ok yes I know this was very random and really if anyone sane reads this story they will probably be out to shoot me! Oh well. They have to get through the Male Reproductive Organ Donors Committee!!

Coletterby xx

ps TD stands for Technology and design for those of you who had lives deproved of the wax on wax off machine


	6. sanity?

howdy all

i told yous i'd update eventually didn't i???

... oh well i meant to

"JOHN! What the fuck!" Rogue yelled into his ear. She had somehow managed to land in such a way that she had completely entangled all of their limb and bounced both their heads off the wall.

"Jeez Rogue, you don't need to yell, I'm sitting right here. UNDERNEATH YOU!!!" somehow even though Rogue had him pinned down his tone of voice had her suddenly petrified.

"J-J-John???"

"Y-Y-Yes???"

"Are you sane again because all of this mess started because you were insane and that made everyone go nuts which made the plants start thinking they could do the hokey kokey and Bobby doesn't have any reproductive organs which means I'm suddenly very glad he was off smooching kitty during our brief lapse of insanity which gives me a reason to break up with him without telling him I know all about the whole lack of reproductive organs and that's ALL YOUR FAULT!" she finished with a extremely loud yell.

"How is Bobby having no reproductive organs all my fault?"

"Ok, well maybe not that bit … but the rest of it was all true … I think. I mean I was insane at the time."

"And you are now?" asked John with a raised eyebrow.

"Well yes clearly I'm sane now, see I can have a reasonable conversation and everything or maybe I'm not sane and I just think I'm having a reasonable conversation when in actual fact I'm having a completely irrational conversation about how those plants are parachuting down the sides of the walls and trying to kill us all!!!" with that she jumped into the now stupefied John's arms and shielded her face. To John's intense disbelieve the plants were actually parachuting towards them with pitchforks.

"Holy Shit!"

He quickly pulled out his lighter and made them all into fried shish kabob which he later fed to Bobby for hiding the fact he had no reproductive organs (and yes I am planning on bringing this up at every point I possibly can. But I swear its true it would explain sooooo much!)

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"Hello Eric 'ol boy. Did you here about the Male Reproductive Organ Donors Committee that my Xmen have taken as their new cause? They're the chair people. I was wondering if you were heading to the meeting I mean I know you haven't had any reproductive organs in decades I mean after you killed all those fluffy bunnies and they had their sadistic revenge… hello… hello???" Pietro quickly hung up the phone before he could hear anymore, rang Wanda, explained the situation and promptly curled up in a ball on the floor whimpering.

"Oh must have been a shite connection, oh well I can always try him tomorrow, I mean he is my MRODC tennis partner." said a rather disgruntled Xavier before wheeling himself out the door.

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Yes yes I know that was the weirdest chapter I have ever written, I almost had a heart attack when I read it over again. But hey my alter ego (Coletterby not maths girl obviously) told me I had top put it up or she would destroy my entire life and whenever she did that before it was really not very fun. I spent the guts of a year trying to explain how it was my alter ego who pushed my headmistress into the swimming pool not me.

Oh well.

Any ways review using the big button below and tell me how shite/good/confusing/completely irrelevant this chapter/story is! Thanks

Coletterby xx


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